The 4-Month Sleep "Regression": Why It's Really a Progression

If you've heard of the "4-month sleep regression," you might be dreading it, or maybe you're in the thick of it right now, wondering what happened to your sleepy newborn. The truth is, it's not really a regression at all. It's actually a huge developmental leap forward in your baby's brain and sleep patterns.

Understanding what's happening and how to gently support your baby through it, can make this stage feel a little less overwhelming (and maybe even exciting!)

What's Really Happening at 4 Months?

Around 4 months, your baby's sleep cycle matures. Instead of drifting in and out of deep newborn sleep, they now cycle through lighter and deeper stages of sleep, just like adults do.

This means:

• They may wake more often at night

• Short naps (30-45 minutes) are common

• They may need more help falling back asleep.

It feels like a "regression" because suddenly sleep gets harder, but in reality, it's a sign of growth and development.

Why Routine Matters More Than Ever

As sleep becomes more structured, your baby begins to thrive on consistency. A predictable routine helps signal to their brain and body that it's time to rest.

Here's what we can try:

• Bedtime routine: Bath, pajamas, feed, book, song/cuddle --> same order each night. (We don't put bottle/nurse at the end so that they don't rely on a feed in order to be able to fall asleep.

• Nap routine: Shorter version of bedtime routine, but keep it consistent so baby gets the signal that it's time to sleep.

• Sleep space: Dark, cool, quiet, with white noise.

Routine isn't about rigidity... it's about creating reassurance and predictability for your baby.

Gentle Sleep Shaping at 4 Months

This stage is actually the perfect time to start introducing gentle sleep shaping or sleep training routines (in ways that feel aligned with your values and parenting style)

Some gentle options:

• Lay baby down drowsy but awake a few times a day to practice falling asleep independently. (Drowsy but awake means baby is clearly sleep, but also clearly awake. Eyelids should not be fluttering open and closed as this is actually a stage of sleep)

• Pause briefly before rushing in... Sometimes babies fuss for a moment and then resettle. When your baby first starts to cry out give them 2-3 minutes to see if they will settle or not, then go in an attend to their needs. This gives them a chance to connect sleep cycles without being fully woken up by a well intentioned care giver.

• Comfort in the crib: Try soothing with a gentle touch, pat or shush without always picking up if your baby will accept. Some babies get more mad, but you'd be surprised at the amount of babies that do just fine being comforted cribside.

Remember: Gentle sleep support is about teaching, not forcing. Practice makes perfect and this will take a lot of practice.

Coping with Night Wakings

Even with routines, night wakings will still happen and that's totally normal! Here's how to make them less draining:

• Keep lights dim and voices soft.

• Respond calmly and consistently.

• Meet needs (feeding, diaper, quick cuddle) then return to sleep space. It's not a time for an extended waking or interactions.

• Resist the urger to "fully wake" your baby with play or stimulation. If they're trying to play or engage you first, stay calm with a low voice and tell them it's still time to sleep. (Do they understand your words yet? No, but they eventually get the idea when you stay consistent)

Supporting Yourself Through This Stage

This transition can be tough on parents, too. I want you to know its okay to prioritize your rest right now too. A rested parent is a patient parent. Here's a few ways to cope:

• Rest when you can: Even 20 minute naps during the day help.

• Ask for help: Trade off nights or mornings with your partner if possible. (many of my clients have found success with taking shifts (4-6 hrs at night, or more! that way each parent gets a chance to rest)

• Simplify routines: Focus on just the essentials = Meals, baby, rest. Use paper plates briefly to cut down on dishes, off load laundry to someone else, ease up on how clean/tidy your house has to be.... just for now. You can always return to these things full force, but for now, it's okay to ease up on the standards you hold yourself to.

• Remind yourself: This is only temporary. It will not last forever. AND this is a positive sign of your babies development. You're on the right track!

When to Seek Help

If your baby's sleep feels consistently unmanageable, or you're feeling overwhelmed and unsure what to try next, you don't have to figure it out alone. Sometimes just a little outside guidance can make things feel so much lighter. Reach out to your pediatrician, best friend, other parents of babies, or a professional in the baby world (Think Doula's, sleep consultants, nanny's, infant care educators, etc.)

Final Encouragement

The 4 month sleep sgtage isn't a step backward, it's your baby learning how to sleep more like you do. WIth gentle routines, a bit of patience, and the right support, you can help your little one (and yourself) move throught this stage with more ease.

Ready for Gentle Guidance?

Photo of a napping baby sleeping on a soft bed

At Soluna Dreams, I specialize in helping families create nurturing, age-appropriate sleep routines. If you're navigating the 4-month sleep progression, I'd love to walk alongside you with gentle, personalized support.

Contact me here and let's make restful nights feel possible again.