What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed by Sleep Struggles

If you’re here, chances are you’re tired. And I know it's not just physically tired, but the kind of tired that sits in your chest and almost feels insurmountable. The kind of tired that comes from doing everything you can and still feeling unsure. The kind that makes nights feel long and days feel heavy. I've been there, I get it.

Sleep struggles have a way of touching everything. Your confidence. Your patience. Your sense of ease. And when you’re in it, it can feel like you’re the only one who can’t figure this out.

You’re not failing, you’re overwhelmed. And those are very different things.

Let’s slow this down together.

First, let’s name what’s really happening

When sleep feels hard for a long time, your nervous system is under constant strain. Broken sleep, unpredictable nights, and the pressure to “fix it” can push your body into survival mode.

That overwhelm might show up as:

• racing thoughts at bedtime

• dreading nightfall

• crying easily or feeling numb

• snapping at your partner or kids

• scrolling endlessly for answers

• feeling frozen and unsure what to try next

None of this means you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human, caring deeply, and running on empty.

When everything feels like too much, stop trying to solve everything

One of the most loving things you can do when you feel overwhelmed is stop trying to fix all of sleep at once.

You don’t need a perfect schedule, you don’t need a strict plan, you don’t need to overhaul everything tonight.

Instead, ask yourself one gentle question: What would feel most supportive right now?

That might be:

• an earlier bedtime

• contact naps for a few days

• loosening wake windows

• simplifying your routine

• asking for help

• doing less, not more

Sleep improves more easily when pressure comes down.

Regulate yourself before trying to regulate sleep

Babies and children borrow our nervous systems. When you’re overwhelmed, they feel it too.

This doesn’t mean you need to be calm all the time. It simply means that tending to your regulation matters.

Small ways to support yourself:

• take 3 slow breaths before responding at night

• step outside for fresh air during the day

• lower expectations for productivity

• ask someone to hold the baby while you rest

• remind yourself: “This is hard, and I’m allowed to feel this way”

You don’t need to power through. You’re allowed to soften.

Focus on connection before correction

When sleep feels broken, many parents instinctively try to correct behaviors. But during overwhelm, connection often brings more relief than change.

Connection looks like:

• holding your baby a little longer

• responding with warmth instead of urgency

• offering comfort without guilt

• trusting your intuition over rigid rules

Feeling safe is the foundation sleep grows from. (this is foundation for all of parenting, really)

Choose one small, steady anchor

Instead of chasing solutions, choose one thing to anchor your days or nights.

This could be:

• a consistent bedtime routine

• a predictable morning wake time

• one protected nap

• a familiar sleep cue

• a calm wind-down ritual for you

Small consistency creates safety. Safety supports rest.

When to reach for extra support

If sleep struggles feel all-consuming, if you’re feeling anxious, hopeless, or disconnected, it’s okay to reach for help.

Support doesn’t mean you’ve failed, it means you don’t want to do this alone... and you don't have to.

Gentle guidance can bring clarity, confidence, and a sense of being held through the process instead of pushing through it.

A gentle reminder before you go

You are not behind. Your baby is not broken. And this season will not last forever.

You’re doing the best you can with the information, energy, and support you have right now. And that is enough. You are enough, my love.

If you’d like calm, compassionate support as you navigate sleep, I’m here. We can move forward together, gently.